I'm on my way back from the land of the free, having secured two more interviews with two more of the US's contributions to popular culture. In this final episode I managed to catch up with Judge Judy and star of 80s sit-com, Different Strokes, Gary 'what you talkin' bout Mr D' Coleman.
First up, all rise for Judge Judy.
On accusations that her show is nothing but smoke and shadows
Baloney! You got that. Bal-on-ey!
On Judge John Deed
You kiddin' me? I don't get it. Judge John Deed. You blowin' smoke up my ass? I don't get it. It's a joke right?
On Charlie Bucket
You stole fizzy lifting drinks! You bumped into the ceiling which has to be washed and sterilised! So you LOSE! You get NOTHING! Good day sir!
On the Golden Girls
Ssh...ssh.. listen up! I ain't no golden girl, dumb ass! I never been on that dumb show, got that?
On Justice
You want the death penalty then you flick the switch! Go ahead sunshine! Knock yourself out!
On me and my blog
Get a job, punk! What! You mean to say people actually read this stuff? They don't? Take my advice tough guy, you wanna be a big shot, then watch your mouth! Zip it! Security!
I was then escorted away from the hotel lobby.
Gary Coleman. The Starbucks Years.
On Fame
You know...it's one thing being that cute freakshow kid on TV in the 80s but I gotta live too. I have a life. I gotta bring home the bacon. Even when the pigs are laughing at me.
Whatchatalkin'bout...
I kinda hate that thing. I can still make five hundred bucks everytime I say that phrase but you know...Mr T makes more cash than I do...and now they get someone else to pretend to be me for cell phones. You want me to say it, dontcha? You don't? C'mon, man! Here's the deal...a hundred bucks and I'll say it here and now, right in this shopping mall...C'mon! Tell ya what! Special discount...five bucks...just five bucks...Whass the matter...c'mon! I need this. I really need this. Where you at?
(By now I've grown bored and vacant so I take my leave)
Sorry Gary, I have a plane to catch.
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