Best Before: Campaigns

What better way to reach your electorate and telling them what you stand for than peppering the streets with propaganda in the form of shit posters, and littering the TV schedules with political/election broadcasts, designed to get you, the dumb assed voter to ask the same rhetorical questions as the parties? In fact they are all the same questions. Like someone who has a brain in their skull is going to say  'Actually I want a really shit national health service...schools can fuck off, bring back work houses...' They constantly want to bombard you with issues that 1. are quite obvious, 2. some people don't give a shit about because it doesn't apply to them (e.g. immigration. Many of thsoe who bleat on and on about being swamped not only don't work but never even bloody worked when immigration was low) 3. how shit the other parties are, as if they have the answers.

In a week that has seen the media in all but name masturbate themselves to death over the TV debate, piping cum all over spin alley and Westminster, you could be forgive that the only one's who really give a shit about campaigns are those in Westminster village. It's sort of like Manchester's Gay Village I imagine only with less shag tags.

So let's have a look what all the bother has been about.

Is that John Pertwee's son? Oh yeah, great one this. Grey skies, Britain at a crossroads metaphor, spineless-play-it-safe-Brown-esque voter who doesn't know which way to go because, well, Brown did one thing right perhaps...Oh dear.


This one's even more patronising. Part of a series of 'stories'. I've never voted tory before but...I'm middle class, I have kids and actually I'm an unconvincing actress. So fuck off everyone! They make me wretch and laugh at the same time. Look at how aspirational and pretty we all are. Listen up, crappy campaigners! You can see right through this shit! The blue jacket, the not very subtle imagery again. Why not feature chavs or people who have not actually voted tory, or pretended not to? Give me a break!

Here we go, so this is what Britain will look like in around 28 days if Labour or Tory's get in? Clegg would get my vote if the rage got him and he went around killing and eating the folks in the other broadcasts.