There are so many unanswered questions in this life which we may never know find out the truth, you know such as who killed JFK, is Paul Burrel gay, and what it is that possess people to actually go out and take the trouble to buy a Scouting For Girls record. But here are some more questions, destined to go unanswered.
How does Kirstie Allsop manage to display blatant protctionism, have disappointing inclinations and yet remain slightly fuckable from behind?
Does anyone actually find Mark Dolan entertaining in the slightest? Really though. I mean...really. The Friday Night Project is one thing but for fuck's sake, 'Balls of Steel.' Pranks? It's so 80s, surely.
Why does George Lamb look like he's just vomited? Guilt maybe?
Charlie Brooker, why don't you say what you really think? Scared of offending celebrites, comedians, producers, commissioning editors?
How acceptable is it for the likes of Jess Cartner-Morely to offer credible fashion advice when she looks like a team of dead mice have risen from the dead to dress her, the plum faced bitch?!?
Boris...why are the type of Londoners who vote for things so fucking stoopid? What did we do import the same dicks who actually voted George Bush in?
Nick Grimshaw...why is it that this, and other Primrose Hill tossers are being given contracts to present of so very cutting fucking edge stuff? They all look like arseshitting clones!! AS IF they could be role models for anyone. AS IF.
Internets fads. Now it's the turn of some obese bastard who supposedly looks like a thumb, only he DOESN'T!!!Really where is his fucking thumb nail you dumb assess!!? Hate internet fads. Remember the Rick Rolling one? Oh, how very amusing, tee-hee.
Oh, and one mystery, flash mobbing, the 2002 fad. Are they supposed to be amusing or clever? If so, why are they rather smug seeming? And why...are they sooo shit and disorganised in reality?
Come on! Grow up people!
